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Is your mum driving you crazy? Ever thought you might be driving her round the bend? Sally Jarman profiles another mother/daughter battle!
Jade, 13, VERSUS Julie
BIG ISSUE: Staying out late
Jade: We argue about me staying out. I feel mum doesn’t trust me. I understand why she worries; if she drives past people my age smoking she might think I could do the same. If she was with me she would see that my group just hang out together, and it’s not a problem. I go out to be with my friends. And coming home early means I sometimes miss out.
Mum: It’s hard to find the balance between giving Jade the freedom she wants, and getting her to see that as her parents we don’t think it’s safe or reasonable for her to stay out until whatever time she wants to. Whatever we suggest, she wants to push it a bit further. It’s not that we don’t trust her, but we worry she will get caught up in trouble if the wider group does. Peer pressure is the problem, because she wants (needs) to feel accepted in her peer group and do what they do.
Working it out
Mum: We are now trying to reach a compromise as much as possible. When we agree a time for Jade to be in, she needs to be back at that time; if she’s going to be late for any reason we ask her to text or call so that we feel confident she’s understanding and respecting our fears, and is being responsible.
Jade: It’s not as bad now that not everyone in my group of friends is allowed to stay out late; I don’t feel that I’m the only one. I’m trying to understand that even though I know I’m safe, my parents aren’t there and worry. I am compromising more. I now always make sure that I text them, or something.